


everything you touch surely dies

by kadywicker



Category: The Magicians (TV), The Magicians - Lev Grossman
Genre: F/F, Some angst, because i don't know how to write fluff soz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 05:10:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10869777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kadywicker/pseuds/kadywicker
Summary: In which Julia has to push Kady away to protect her.





	everything you touch surely dies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [callieincali](https://archiveofourown.org/users/callieincali/gifts).



> Hi, I have never ever written a fic, so keep in mind that this is my first one and english isn't my first language either, in other words this one is gonna suck and I am sorry, if you still wanna read it, feel free. This ship ruined me enough to write a fanfic wow. anyways, I am sorry in advance!

The beast has died, Reynard has been sent to hell but along the way many people died, Julia was used to people dying around her, if people didn't abandon her they ended up dead, she wondered if she was cursed, if she wasn't a magician she would have ignored the thought but knowing better she considered the idea of being cursed. Julia didn't care much about it until she fell in love with Kady, if there was any death that could destroy her, it was Kady's. First she had to push her away while she tried to reverse the godamn curse that kept ruining her life but she couldn't do that next to Kady, she would risk her life and that was the thing she was trying to prevent. But loving Kady and having to push her away wasn't going to be that easy, eventually she decided to suddenly stop talking to her, no matter how much that hurt Julia it was for the best.

Kady didn't understand why Julia hated her, what she didn't know is that Julia was only trying to protect her, the brunette hated herself for making Kady think she could hate someone like her, a lion-hearted girl who cared too much for her own good, always ready to fight for what she believed in and the people she cared about. 

Kady usually didn't care what people would think about her nor if someone didn't like her but it was Julia and they used to be friends, Kady's life hasn't been easy, it was filled with rejection and abandonment, she felt not good enough, as usual. Julia pushing her away wasn't helping either.

Kady started dating Penny, it made her feel better, it wasn't love what she felt for Penny but she liked him enough to date him and forget about her drama with Julia, Penny cared about Kady, it was a win win for everyone, except for Julia.

"Do you love _him_?" Julia asked Kady out of the blue. 

"What?! why do _you_ care? you don't even like me?" Julia felt the hurt in Kady's voice. 

"You'd be surprised" Julia whispered but Kady was already gone. 

Julia cursed herself, if she could only tell Kady that she's only trying to protect her but it wasn't an option, maybe Kady was better off her, for starters she wouldn't die and that was enough for Julia to keep her heartache to herself. Penny was a good guy, maybe he deserved Kady, something Julia was sure is that the other girl deserved so much better than someone who would only bring death to her life, every thought hurt Julia. She had seen her closest friends die, anyone who helped her, has died, first it was her best friend, Quentin she missed him so much, maybe her life would be a lot better if she had him in it, then it was Marina, a level 50 hedge witch, Richard and every member of free trader Beowulf, Kady's mom while they worked together a year ago, Julia always thought it was a good thing her family gave up on her when she was a teenager otherwise they would be dead by now, she was lonely now, but at least her family was alive. It felt like a curse, maybe pushing Kady away was her best option, if her family survived when they gave up on her, she had to try with Kady, no matter how much it hurt Julia the alternative was unbearable.

 

* * *

 

Kady decided to go talk to Julia, she was tired of wondering where they went wrong or what did she do to her, this time she would try talking to Julia in a softer calm way.

“Jules… can we talk?” Kady asked though Julia’s door.

Julia got up from her couch immediately “did something happen?” she panicked.

“no, not really, I-I was wondering where did we go so wrong, we were best bitches remember?” Kady showed Julia her necklace, to Julia’s surprise she still had it. “what did I do to you? I stay awake at night wondering how awful I must have been with you that you cut me out of your life” Kady’s voice breaking.

All Julia needed was to hear the pain in Kady’s voice, she never wanted to hurt her all she wanted was to protect her. “I am sorry… I never wanted to hurt you, the least thing I wanted was for you to feel like you did something to me”

“Then help me understand, why” Kady begged.

“you wouldn’t understand” said Julia with a sigh.

“try me” Kady replied.

“fine, I am cursed”

Kady rolled her eyes not believing a word the brunette said.

“It’s true, I am cursed and I was trying to protect you” Julia tried to explain but failed epicly

“Jules, that’s not true and if it were I am a magician, I can protect myself”

That was the breaking point for Julia “My whole life has been filled with death, you get close to me and you die, everything I touch dies, I need you to understand that you’re not safe with me, I came to the conclusion that I am cursed, there’s no other explanation or I am just really bad luck, either way you’re better off me” Julia explained with tears in her eyes.

“Would you let me choose what’s better for me?” Kady wiped away Julia’s tears “we can fight it together, I have never felt safer with anyone else but you, no one has protected me the way you did, let me help you”

“Y-you could die” Julia said with tears in her eyes, seeing Kady die was the one of her worst fears.

“Let me remind you that I am alive because of you, you saved my life, twice remember? Maybe I am your only exception” Kady laughed at how cheesy everything that came from her mouth sound. “You won’t get rid of your best bitch that easy” Julia smiled and Kady was glad that for once everything felt like old times.

“promise?” Julia asked

Kady nodded

 

* * *

 

Julia's sobs woke up Kady, the brunette was having a nightmare, concerned she got up and run to Julia's side. "hey, Jules..." Kady tried to wake her up "Jules wake up, it's me, Kady, it's just a dream you're alright" her voice was soft yet concerned.

Julia was shaking "w-what? a-re you okay?"

"Yes, hey it's alright" Kady tried to comfort Julia.

"you were hurt and died in my arms and there was nothing that I could do to save you" she couldn't face Kady's eyes, she was terrified, her dream was real and this was just a dream. 

"As far as I know I am not dead, I am alright, it was just a nightmare, Jules."

"i-it felt so real, you were slipping through my fingers and there was nothing I could do to stop it." Julia tried to wipe her tears away "I am sorry I woke you up.” every thought she was trying to keep away came back and hit her in the most painful way.

"It's alright, I am here and death can kiss my ass" Kady tried to joke to make Julia feel better.

Julia shook her head disapprovingly "Kady..."

"Okay, I am sorry. We should do something about that curse by the way, probably talk to Fogg and see if he can tell us something about it."

Julia agreed, she would do whatever it needs to be done if that means Kady would be safe.

 

* * *

 

After a whole painful explanation by Julia, she let Dean Fogg do all his spells on her, he even called Pearl Sunderland, a teacher at Brakebills, to try some other spells, nothing worked, Julia was getting desperate, she wanted to find some curse or something that was wrong with her, it was easier that way, because then she could do something about it, instead of seeing everyone die around her.

"no, nothing" Fogg whispered to himself. 

"There must be! keep trying!" Julia demanded "death keeps following me everywhere I go, there must be something!" Julia was in the verge of tears.

"Miss Wicker, I have to inform you that we couldn't find any curse, you're just fine. Whatever happened in your life, it was supposed to be that way. That's just life and death and the later can't be prevented from happening, you either learn how to honor those who died by your side or you let it destroy you."

"fuck" Julia muttered and stormed out of his office.

 

* * *

 

Kady asked Julia what did they say but the girl stayed silent the whole way back home, she didn't know how to tell Kady to get away from her, how was she going to explain she was bad luck, not again, it was hard enough the first time, eventually she would have to. Once they were in Julia's apartment and Julia got comfortable in her own couch, Kady brought the girl a glass of water and asked again. 

“Okay fine, looks like there’s no curse, ironically my entire life is just a curse" Julia said laughing ironically “I am sorry Kady I thought this was gonna work but once again it didn't, you must leave.” she added holding her breath, having to push Kady away again hurt more than she thought it would.

“no, I am not going anywhere Julia.” said Kady sitting in front of Julia.

“K-kady, the last thing I want is you getting in danger because of me, you’re better off me, please, I just need you to understand that you need to be safe and that’s not standing next to me when danger knocks on my door.”

“If risking my life means being by your side, it’s worth it, I don't have anything else, yes, there's Brakebills and Penny but it's not enough for me, we can fight anything together and we can protect each other.”

“are you sure?” Julia asked with a sigh “you can leave if you want, you don’t have to fight for me.”

“but I do, I couldn’t leave knowing that you could be in danger at any moment, if there’s someone I want to fight for, that’s you” Kady said with a hand on Julia's cheek.

“I-I… thank you. Promise me you won’t do anything crazy that would get you killed.”

“You know that’s not me but I can promise you that I’ll try.”

“That’s enough for me” Julia said kissing Kady’s forehead catching the girl by surprise.

- _To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die_ , Kady sung knowing it would make Julia smile for a while.

“don't you dare" Julia said in unison, laughing.

Seeing Julia smile was enough, there was something very satisfying about a smile that had to be earned, Kady knew Julia had been through enough for a lifetime and she knew more shit would come, she was ready to fight for Julia, even if that meant dying for her, after all there was no better way to die than saving the girl she loved.


End file.
